Let’s applaud estranged students

Graduates were asked to show their support to the “brave” students estranged from their families by Becca Bland who heads a charity which offers help. Becca, who suffered from being estranged from her own parents, was speaking after being made an Honorary Doctor of Letters for her major contribution to raising awareness of family estrangement and national policy.

Becca, founder and Chief Executive of the charity Stand Alone has campaigned nationally to highlight challenges faced by some students.

Becca, who graduated from the University of Brighton in 2006 with a BA(Hons) in editorial photography, told for the first time of her own problems: “My family relationships were very weak, and I didn’t have those strong, loving parents behind me, the type of which may be here, sitting proudly, today.

“It had been an ugly struggle to get my parents income details on my student loan form, and for the duration of my undergraduate course, we barely communicated. I didn’t once go home, not even for Christmas.

”She found herself broke in her first year of studies but received help from the university’s Student Services. She was first asked if her family could help and she confided: “I don’t have a good relationship with my parents is all I could say... they aren’t interested.

Becca Bland

Becca Bland receiving her honorary doctorate from Vice-Chancellor Professor Debra Humphris

“I was absolutely desperate not to tell this kind lady the bigger truths about the history of abuse and neglect that I had suffered, which had been fumbled by my school and social services. The only reason I was on two feet was because of the informal kinship care that I received from my grandma. I was begging in the back of my mind that she wouldn’t ask why, and that she would just give me the bridging loan. I remember shaking with nerves as she disappeared behind a screen to make the decision. I felt so much shame.

“Gratefully, I did get that bridging loan. And that relatively small piece of financial support changed my student experience here considerably. It helped me to avoid informal homelessness and sofa surfing that summer, and allowed me stability to get myself into a better position. I made friends who have been like family to me, some of whom, I am grateful to say, are sat here today, 12 years later.

”Becca’s experience and knowing hers was not the most extreme case led her to launch Stand Alone. Since then, policymakers, financial institutions and universities have responded positively to her calls to recognise estranged students: “It has been important that the sector has begun to understand that not all students come to university with a parent or corporate parent behind them.

“Estranged young people are now supported by half of all UK universities, and we have received around 72 letters from Vice-Chancellors like (Professor) Debra Humphris (University of Brighton) in support of this often hidden group. They are a key group for support in national policy initiatives in England and Scotland.

“Around £3.5m has been committed in bursaries specifically for estranged students at these institutions annually. I am really proud to say that Brighton was one of the first institutions to come on board.

”Becca said: “I have never spoken in detail about my own journey through university publically until today. But I am grateful to the multitude of estranged student campaigners across the UK who have stood up and bravely told the world what it’s like to lack family support at university. And I’m grateful for people like Debra who have taken the time to listen.”

Becca asked graduates: “I’d like you to recognise that there are probably estranged students who have walked on this stage who have been through similar struggles to those I have described.

“I would like you to direct your warmth, admiration and applause to them as well as your own friends and family today. Please keep those brave young people in your mind.

“For any estranged students in the audience, please know that we do see you, and that we understand just how much you’ve achieved. We are really proud of you.”